This is a touchy topic for some and there are actually some people who don’t agree with “cutting people out of lives.” It can seem very harsh and extreme. I agree. However, sometimes people do things that are harsh and extreme to people without any regards to how that will effect the other person. Therefore, the only thing that you can do is remove them from your life, stop carrying them with you, and move along.

Over the past few years, I’ve had a handful of people enter my life and shared plenty of great moments with said people. Unfortunately, things happen in friendships and relationships. Some things are minor and can easily be repaired. There are some things are just broken beyond repair, be it because the crash was too big and destroyed the relationship or the relationship was barely holding up and that final feather made even come crashing down.

Trust me, I’ve had plenty of “straw that broke the camel’s back” moments in my life, because I’m a forgiving person. When it comes to friendships, I cherish them and treat them like family; with respect and kindness. Unfortunately, there are people who take your kindness for weakness, which is a saying a never full understood until I experienced for myself. Even as I sit here, it’s still very unbelievable to think that some people can misconstrue the act of kindness and treating others as they would want to be treated as a sign of weakness and an open invitation to be walked upon. It’s a very disheartening, but a part of the make-up of some people.

Having to cut ties with people can also include people with whom you’ve had a romantic relationship. I will admit, that ending unhealthy and unfilling relationships with guys has always been a little trickier for me than cutting out former friends. For me, all my past romantic relationships have been deep. I recently had to finally end a situation with a guy that I’ve been “chilling” with, on and off, for 3 years. I know, I know.  Anyway, he gave me the impression that he was a “great guy” and he’s is, but just not for me and when he finally showed me who he was, I had to finally stop entertaining him. Okay, maybe he showed me on more than one occasion (more like 3), but I finally was able to be like enough is a enough. Three strikes, I’m gone.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m human, too. Humans make mistakes. However, humans also know when they’ve messed up. When people make legit mistakes, the next course of action is to acknowledge the mistake, apologize for making said mistake, and wholeheartedly try not to make the same mistakes again. Sounds like three easy little steps…and they are…until you get to that final step and start the cycle all over again. It happens to the best of us.

Funny thing about mistakes. If you keep making the same mistake over and over and over, it eventually turns from a mistake to a habit and then that mistake is now one of your characteristics. After so many chances, it’s only natural and understand to come to the decision that it’s best to cut ties with someone and remove them from your life.

For times when you’ve had enough of negative people, here are the appropriate steps you need to take in order to cut people out of your life…for good:

• Delete, Delete, Delete – Obviously, this should be the first step to cutting someone out of your life, but some people don’t do this. Instead, they just block the number, which is definitely a needed step. However, on those days when you’re reminiscing about good times with your former partner in crime at the bar or feeling lonely and want some affection, you might find yourself scrolling through your contact list and get the temptation to “see how they’re doing”. Next thing you know, the cycle has started all over again and back to feeling used and unhappy. No, just delete all their contacts (emails, too) from all your devices.
• Unfollow and Unfriend – It’s 2015 and you can send messages through practically any form of social media, including games and apps. An ex tried to pop back into my life via Facebook messenger. I deleted and blocked him while he was sending the second message. I got him off my screen in 5 seconds. So, double-check to make sure you all don’t follow each other on social media. If they follow you, most apps and platforms allow you to block accounts from contacting you.
• Have a ‘Block’ Party – Yes, you have to block them. Like I said above, it’s necessary, because people don’t miss what they have until it’s gone and that includes genuine people and friends. So, it’s not just enough to delete their contacts and unfollow across social media, but also block them.. They reminisce, too.
• Have Forgiveness and Hope – Yes, forgive them…if they apologize. No matter if it’s a genuine apology or not, forgive them and hope that learn they lesson and to not pull that mess with the next person, because you’re not giving them any more opportunities to test your kindness. Right? Right!

In the end, not all friendships and relationships are meant to last forever. Over your entire life, people will come in and out of your life, bringing sprinkles of good and bad, but just know, they’re not meant to be there forever. So, it’s okay to pray for them and hope they have a good life…from afar. I’ve always tried to take something away from failed relationships, even if learning that there’s somethings that I just can’t tolerate from people. Still, I was able to take something away and use it to hopefully find and form better relationships down the road.

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