How to Cut People Out of Your Life

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This is a touchy topic for some and there are actually some people who don’t agree with “cutting people out of lives.” It can seem very harsh and extreme. I agree. However, sometimes people do things that are harsh and extreme to people without any regards to how that will effect the other person. Therefore, the only thing that you can do is remove them from your life, stop carrying them with you, and move along.

Over the past few years, I’ve had a handful of people enter my life and shared plenty of great moments with said people. Unfortunately, things happen in friendships and relationships. Some things are minor and can easily be repaired. There are some things are just broken beyond repair, be it because the crash was too big and destroyed the relationship or the relationship was barely holding up and that final feather made even come crashing down.

Trust me, I’ve had plenty of “straw that broke the camel’s back” moments in my life, because I’m a forgiving person. When it comes to friendships, I cherish them and treat them like family; with respect and kindness. Unfortunately, there are people who take your kindness for weakness, which is a saying a never full understood until I experienced for myself. Even as I sit here, it’s still very unbelievable to think that some people can misconstrue the act of kindness and treating others as they would want to be treated as a sign of weakness and an open invitation to be walked upon. It’s a very disheartening, but a part of the make-up of some people.

Having to cut ties with people can also include people with whom you’ve had a romantic relationship. I will admit, that ending unhealthy and unfilling relationships with guys has always been a little trickier for me than cutting out former friends. For me, all my past romantic relationships have been deep. I recently had to finally end a situation with a guy that I’ve been “chilling” with, on and off, for 3 years. I know, I know.  Anyway, he gave me the impression that he was a “great guy” and he’s is, but just not for me and when he finally showed me who he was, I had to finally stop entertaining him. Okay, maybe he showed me on more than one occasion (more like 3), but I finally was able to be like enough is a enough. Three strikes, I’m gone.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m human, too. Humans make mistakes. However, humans also know when they’ve messed up. When people make legit mistakes, the next course of action is to acknowledge the mistake, apologize for making said mistake, and wholeheartedly try not to make the same mistakes again. Sounds like three easy little steps…and they are…until you get to that final step and start the cycle all over again. It happens to the best of us.

Funny thing about mistakes. If you keep making the same mistake over and over and over, it eventually turns from a mistake to a habit and then that mistake is now one of your characteristics. After so many chances, it’s only natural and understand to come to the decision that it’s best to cut ties with someone and remove them from your life.

For times when you’ve had enough of negative people, here are the appropriate steps you need to take in order to cut people out of your life…for good:

  • Delete, Delete, Delete – Obviously, this should be the first step to cutting someone out of your life, but some people don’t do this. Instead, they just block the number, which is definitely a needed step. However, on those days when you’re reminiscing about good times with your former partner in crime at the bar or feeling lonely and want some affection, you might find yourself scrolling through your contact list and get the temptation to “see how they’re doing”. Next thing you know, the cycle has started all over again and back to feeling used and unhappy. No, just delete all their contacts (emails, too) from all your devices.
  • Unfollow and Unfriend – It’s 2015 and you can send messages through practically any form of social media, including games and apps. An ex tried to pop back into my life via Facebook messenger. I deleted and blocked him while he was sending the second message. I got him off my screen in 5 seconds. So, double-check to make sure you all don’t follow each other on social media. If they follow you, most apps and platforms allow you to block accounts from contacting you.
  • Have a ‘Block’ Party – Yes, you have to block them. Like I said above, it’s necessary, because people don’t miss what they have until it’s gone and that includes genuine people and friends. So, it’s not just enough to delete their contacts and unfollow across social media, but also block them.. They reminisce, too.
  • Have Forgiveness and Hope – Yes, forgive them…if they apologize. No matter if it’s a genuine apology or not, forgive them and hope that learn they lesson and to not pull that mess with the next person, because you’re not giving them any more opportunities to test your kindness. Right? Right!

In the end, not all friendships and relationships are meant to last forever. Over your entire life, people will come in and out of your life, bringing sprinkles of good and bad, but just know, they’re not meant to be there forever. So, it’s okay to pray for them and hope they have a good life…from afar. I’ve always tried to take something away from failed relationships, even if learning that there’s somethings that I just can’t tolerate from people. Still, I was able to take something away and use it to hopefully find and form better relationships down the road.

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LINK-END ROUND UP

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Recently, I’ve been feeling like my link-end round up is a solution to a puzzle of my brain. One week, you might notice more motivational and productivity posts than style and the next week, I might look like a complete pig thanks to an abundant links about recipes and restaurants.

I have noticed a slight theme about this weeks’ links. Can you guess it? If so, let me know in the comments sections. However, for now, please enjoy this week’s link-end round-up.

Have an awesome weekend!

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LUST-HAVE LIST: October 2015

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September was great, fast, but definitely great.  I had an amazingly chill and perfect birthday (September 26) weekend that I happily spent with friends and family…and even a couple of pleasant naps on my sofa. No shame and definitely no complaints. Ultimately, I’m just very happy and blessed that I was able to enter another year on this earth.

Hopefully, October will be just as great. The weather has been consistently chilly and I’ve even woken up to condensation on my car. It’s been hot for so long that I almost forgot that warming up my car was still a ‘thing’. Ha!

Let’s welcome October by checking out the things I’m crushing on this month on the October 2o15 Lust-Have List.

  • This limited edition red Ombre’ brush set from Sonua Kashuk is probably one of the most illogical items I’ve wanted in a long time, because I practically already have all of the original version of these brushes and would only be buying them for the gorgeous red ombre’ look of them and for that same reason, I wouldn’t even use them. So, I would be buying these for decor…and I’m totally okay with that decision.
  • Considering that we just had 90 degree temperatures last, looking for a winter coat is very premature. Still, this classic wool blend coat from H&M caught my heart and potentially part of my next paycheck.
  • Leopard print is my favorite neutral for fall and winter. Yes, leopard print is a neutral and these buckled leopard print flats are so cute and can go with any look.
  • I’ve recently been slacking on my skincare game and the main area of slacking has been paying attention to my eye area. Fortunately, I don’t have undereye problems, but I won’t to prolong that blessing. The last undereye cream I bought irritated my eyes…TREMENDOUSLY. So, I want to give Origins’ Planscription Anti-Aging Eye Cream a go, because I’ve had great results with Origins’ eye creams in the past.
  • I haven’t owned a green handbag in a long time and I feel like that needs to change and preferably in the form of this chic and sexy Cali purse from Rebecca Minkoff archive collection. Unfortunately, it’s only going to be available for a few days. However, I will just have to think about all the memories we could’ve shared.
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The New Way to Buy Mattresses

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Would you buy a brand new online-only bed that comes delivered in a big cardboard box?

Well, if you answered yes, then you aren’t alone, because that is one of the latest products of up and coming direct to consumer products. If you answered ‘no’, then you might to keep on reading to see if this is something you can get on board this new way to buy mattresses.

Over the past year, the way we shop and do things that people have been doing for decades has transformed and streamlined. For example, we are forgoing driving our cars and taxis to instead request the service of an Uber with a few clicks on an app on our phones. Well, now you can add buying a new mattress to that list of things that are getting more refined.

One of the latest trends in the click to buy and direct-t0-consumer marketplace is the ability and ease of purchasing a new and luxurious mattress from the comfort and ease of your phone. The popular guy on campus, Casper, has had the most success with this innovative way to click and buy a new mattress and garnered much attention on social media and brought attention to this latest concept.

Since this concept is a direct-to-consumer product and the process of shipping in a cardboard box that’s easy to transport has allowed these companies to provide high quality and luxurious mattresses at the fraction of the price compared to most brick and mortar stores, including some of the popular big box places.

Also, some of these companies are able to throw special discounts and products.  Leesa even offers free shipping on all orders and 10% military discount. Yogabed, like Leesa, also offers free shipping, but also $60 off and free pillows.

The mattresses are available from twin and twin Xl and all the way up to California King. Some of the companies even have different style to choose from and are ideal for any flat surface, including platforms and boxsprings.

So, would you buy a new mattress, without testing it out and it gets shipped and delivered in a cardboard box that you can carry in your house by yourself?

I must, I’m very intrigued.

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Make Peace With Your Place

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For the past few years, after reaching another birthday, I start to re-examine my place. When I say place, I don’t mean my home, although I do partake in a little tidying up and cleaning out some things. However, in this case, place meaning the current moment of my living and the people and situations that I allow in my life.

I spent part of my birthday weekend attending a Women’s Conference at my church and on the first night, the message was about making peace with your place.

I just entered my 34th year of being on this planet and over these 3+ decades I’ve experienced and learned a lot about me and more importantly, about what I want. However, I have to admit that I spent the majority of those years not appreciating myself and the godly gifts that I already had and instead spent more time, almost obsessing about the things I didn’t have that others around me did have such as better clothes, nicer bodies, more friends, and that junior high diabolical desire; popularity. Oh, if only 14 year old could’ve hopped in a time machine to now and see that all of those things were not all what they cracked up to be.

One of the decisions you can make in your life, to me, is to not spend even one iota of time comparing yourself to somebody else. You should always strive to live a content life and learn to love and appreciate all the things that you do have in this life, because comparison is a thief of making peace with your place.

“Comparison is the death of joy.” – Mark Twain

I’m a warrior for people living a happy life and encouraging others, too. So, stop with the comparisons and focus on the people, places, and things that brings joy to your life.

My moment of complete contentment.

Recently, I rediscovered my love of drawing and sketching. I feel so content and happy with my place those times when I’m laying in bed, free-hand sketching whatever comes to mind with one of my guilty-pleasure podcasts that I love listening to at night. In that moment, I’m not thinking out any upcoming bills, filled to the brim inboxes, and I’m definitely not scrolling through Instagram looking about people post visually pleasing pictures of the things they want you to see.

I’m so glad that social media wasn’t a thing when I was in school. No telling how broken my self-esteem would’ve been then and probably now and for that I’m grateful and at peace with my place.

Can you say that you are peace with your current place in life? Either way, share below and we can continue to strive together.

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