Since the new year pretty much on the other side of the door, I guess this would be a perfect time to reflect on this past year of 2014. A year ago, I definitely didn’t think much would change in my life by the end of the year. Even though I wanted more, I can honestly say that I didn’t think much would change, including my job, relationships, and people in my life. Boy, was I wrong.
For the rest of my life, I will always remember 2014 as the year that I lost my mom. Even as I typed those four small words, my eyes just burst into tears. She passed away on September 17, over 3 months ago and I’m okay, just like I know that after a small stroke, followed by a heart surgery and an amputation and countless of rehab before ultimately transitioning, she is now finally okay.
Although I think about her every single day (with more than an occasional outburst of waterworks from my eyes) and miss her from the deepest depth of my soul, I’m not sad. I’m actually happy, because she’s at peace which has put my brother, sister, and I at peace, as well. Between the beginning of April until her death, we as individuals were going through a lot.
A month before all my mom’s illness issues popped up, my sister/roommate lost her job, which left me to cover all of our joint bills. Luckily, I was blessed enough to be able to do, but still it was stressful, for both of us. Two months after that, my brother and his ever-loving and supportive wife had just begun the life changing journey of entering the fostering/ adopting program and received their child. Due to other other things with my siblings, I was left to handle all my mom’s business, meaning making sure her bills were paid, going to doctor’s appointments, and filling out countless paperwork while working a full-time.
However, all that stuff is a blur and doesn’t matter anymore. I just miss my mom.
Despite that, 2014 is also the year I acquired a new mindset on just being happy. So, simple, yet so hard to do at times. I started to do what made me happy. If it meant laying on the sofa all day watching movies saved on my DVR and indulging in guilt/sugar/fat-filled snacking, I did it, but not that much. I especially embraced this new philosophy after the death of my mom.
I’m going to carry this personal pursuit of happiness from this year into next and set my goals. Well, not necessarily “goals”, but things I’m striving to do this year.
- Become certified to become a teacher – This was something I considered back in February 2014, but fell to waist side so I can help my mom. Now, I’m prepping to take the certification test within in the next couple of months. Yes, the person who never wanted kids and didn’t think kids would like her has come to realization that it’s not true. Well, the latter anyway. Still,wish me luck.
- Continue paying off debt – I did pretty good at this in 2014 by being meticulous with paying bills and stalking my credit score like ex on Facebook. I’m going up the ante in 2015. I’m aiming to pay off almost half my debt this year. I’m knocking off the smaller, but still diabolical ones first and cutting back on some unnecessary expenses. Crazy how paying off bills instead of buying new clothes makes me feel so happy. I guess that’s part of being an adult.
- Nurture strong AND true relationships – Despite the emotional personal year I had, I somehow met and built a couple of great friendships while also learning to let some go. It’s hard coming to realization that some people you truly care and/or really like just can’t reciprocate that back to you and eventually you have to realize that it really is you and not them. They were showing me who they are, but I wasn’t paying attention. However, once I started to do a life cleansing and removing the people and things that didn’t make me happy, I noticed that the number of numbers in my contact list had shrunk. Hmm….and I’m okay with that!
So, I’m very optimistic for the new year and the journey I’m about to embark. I’ll see back here on January 5th and have a Happy New Year!